Happy Tuesday Beautiful People!!
I hope so far, so great!
Okay so, last week someone sent me a link to Regina King’s article in Vibe Magazine. In the article (abi na open letter?) she advised black women to date out of their race. I had read it already but when I did, I took it for what is was – a suggestion and kept it moving. However after the numerous conversations I had with multiple people about it, I knew I wanted to write about it. The question was how?
I started off from a defensive angle – Aunty Regina, who asked you??? Do you think it is easy to date out of one’s race? Did you know that there are studies showing that black women are the least desired option in dating sites? Who said dating oyibo guarantee’s marriage? Dating/marriage is already hard work on its own to add tackling fundamental differences to the mix. ?
Then I went the offensive route – Aunty Regina get point sha. After all, look at all the seemingly-happily-married-interracial-bellanaija-couples out there today. After all, haven’t I dated/considered men that checked off every item on my list, still ihe n’eme na ndu m ka n’eme (what’s happening in my life is still happening). Why not??
After a lot of pondering, even more conversations and more research, this is what I came up with;
While, Ms. King never mentioned anything about marriage, everyone that forwarded that article to me did, (or at least inferred it). Let’s call onions; onions, any woman looking to date (especially after a certain age) is looking for a husband. As a result, the man she decides to date is not just someone to “pass time” with; he is someone she hopes to one day, marry. So it is understandable that she will have… umm… preferences. So allow her!
At the end of the day, marriage is not Nike, you can’t just do it. So baby girl, please TAKE YOUR TIME. If you want to stay with your people, do it. If you want to sample what’s over the fence, do it. Whatever you decide, make sure it is your choice!
I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to let societal pressures (regardless of its shape or form) get you to settle for less than you deserve.?
Thank you so much for reading!!!!
Love always,
The Wawa-New Yorker
Please send this to EVERYONE YOU KNOW and let me know what you think! I’m curious lol.
Lolol… the 2nd to last paragraph really got me laughing but really true. Marriage no be joke… Nice one dear.
Thank you!
Nice one oby. But i feel Marriage is not hard. It only becomes hard when ladies starts making preferences in terms of states they like to live in and don’t like, as if to say its the states that will marry them. Talking from a personal experience. ?
LMAO! Thank you for reading and leaving a comment Obinna! However I would like to mention that marriage is full of decisions to be made. Disagreements on said “preferences” lead to some of the marriages difficulties I referenced in the post above!